Rebirth or Born Anew?

Reincarnation of thought as you

So many of us took on at a young age beliefs like, “I can’t disappoint anybody (or I’m dead meat). I can’t be disappointed in people I love or something is wrong with me!” “I have to heal my mom/dad. I have to help them be well! Their suffering is my problem!”
 
I’m not saying it’s rational or even that it was formulated in clear statements like that. Research might argue the opposite, that those worded concepts are representations of emotional, vibrational, energetic, felt experiences. Those form neurological networks that produce specific hormonal concoctions, nervous system responses, even genetic expression… all run by unconscious processes… they can become habit of mind/behavior. Automated.
 
In my experience, habit of mind masquerades as law of the universe. This IS the way it IS. And it is, unless we interrupt the pattern, the habit… or it gets so harsh we are brought to our knees and either numb it out or head in.
 
I often marvel at my automatic responses in some situations. Awareness is a blessing. Pain too if it is required to get my awareness. It really is the wedge that provides necessary distance to transform, to loosen the claim of reality that habits of mind can have over me, and reveal opportunities and alternatives.

The gift of Pain; the gift of awareness; the gift of the conscious mind

Awareness is just the beginning of something beautiful. As I become aware, I notice how often I’m not actually responding to the current situation, but repeating an echo of the past.
 
Reincarnation of thoughts, beliefs, living through me. Again and again, until… their cycle of reincarnation end in me, no longer pathways for their expression to live through ‘me’.
 
And it’s not so conscious. It arises before the conscious mind notices. It’s there.
 
Today a wonderful thing happened with a client that showed me again, that awareness as a practice, bringing presence to reactions that are difficult to sit with, sitting with them regardless of that pain, developing understanding and really listening… sometimes bringing paradoxical tools to the same issue… how this can result in new breakthrough realizations, opportunity for choice, even empowering responses to situations in the PRESENT.
 
Moving from helpless effect to co-creator.
"I struggled with clarity for too long. I thought I was clear, but actually I had no idea what real clarity was. Now I have true understanding of what really moves me. Book a session with Matt and you'll find your clarity"
"A deep seated shame was affecting me, it was affecting my marriage, it was affecting how I treated people... Matt helped me heal the shamefulness, and what lay underneath was TRULY AMAZING... now I'm watching myself become fully alive"

Born anew not reborn

“Matt… I am not going to solve this pain I have by solving THEIR problems. That is a pattern that is killing me. I’m always trying to make everyone else OK, trying to anticipate and control everything so I can finally feel safe… like it’s safe to finally be able to just be me, and be seen and supported… but I never feel safe doing that, and nobody really sees me. I usually end up exhausted and resenting myself.”
 
I recognized me in that too. “To be safe… I can’t be authentic… it will ruin all opportunity for attachment… I must please first even if it means damaging myself in the process.”
 

The desire for safety, authenticity and to be loved has sanctity. With the awareness of the unquestioned beliefs of HOW to get it, she understood she has options. And options she chose… creating safety in herself, and allowing the universe to respond to her new demand.

Rebirth? or Born Anew?

And in that moment, the automatic response she had learned long ago, started to lose it’s universal authority. No longer automatic, new alternatives were born from within, tied to the present, and she found an opportunity to build exactly the safety and vulnerability she desired without needing to wait for circumstances to ‘finally’ align and allow it. Without needing to take responsibility for everyone and everything else first.
 
It might seem so obvious to some, but those habits of mind… they can be really subtle. And when I reflect on the profound and beautiful breakthrough she had… well… I feel a wave of love wash over me.
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Quick Cure for Disappointment

Trade disappointment for just a little appreciation... then take another look

I had the wonderful opportunity to feel a deep appreciation for someone in my life today. It was like a wave that washed over me.

It became contagious. I started to find all sorts of little things I appreciate. And as my attention moved more to appreciation I noticed how some irritation I had been holding onto, slowly slipping into a sense of doom, some disappointment I had been carrying about something else, just lifted away.

I realized I had a distorted view and possibilities were far greater than my disappointment.

John Doe
John Doe@michelledenise.holdt
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Matt is INCREDIBLE. I worked with him for a few months and his guidance is like no other - pure magic. He led me to my own inner light and wisdom in ways I could not have gotten on my own
Noel Bagwell
Noel Bagwell@nbagwell3
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I met Matt in one of the darkest periods of loss, grief, pain and suffering... he helped me build myself better than I was before.
Kishore Khaitan
Kishore Khaitan@kishore.khaitan
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Matt is superb when it comes to going deep inside oneself to uncover the underlying fears and beliefs that are holding us bakc.
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Disappointment is a process, not a state to occupy. Shifting it is as easy as flowing with the stream of life.

Disappointment when sustained as an attitude closes the mind off to alternatives, to opportunities, to potential. It might lend a short term feeling of superiority, or control… 

Sustained it can lead to arrogance, a very small world view, and false safe harbor far away from the present moment and your precious heart.

Trading just a little for a little appreciation, just feeling into what that feels like, it’s almost impossible not to feel a shift in your being, back toward your centre, compassion, calmness and presence.

The secret is… it can be appreciation about ANYTHING, even unrelated things. So the next time you find yourself disappointed say in your significant other, and your mind is starting to stew over all the things he or she is doing wrong, or isn’t doing right, and how that for sure must mean they don’t TRULY care about you… well, stop for a moment. Know you can always pick up where you left off. 

Look up, stretch your arms, and just appreciate this moment now, where nothing bad is happening. Appreciate how your cloths feel, or how you can witness beautiful things. Appreciate the taste of your favorite food, or how a giggling baby lights your soul up. 

Now, take another look at your partner in that situation. Go back to the same issue. Your perspective has shifted even just a bit, has it not? So appreciate that. And before you know it, you might find a smile on your face, and before long you can turn your disappointment into a statement about what you like, and just share that with her or him, taking responsibility for your emotional destiny. 

And all it took, was to trade a little disappointment for little appreciation. 

 
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What Can Awareness Do?

can you let go, forgive, and find beauty?

  • Matthew Corlett
  • Jan 22, 2022

I would like to take a moment to share with you the power of awareness. It is a super power, and lucky for you, you’ve got it! You are using it ALL the time and in fact, ‘you’ might even be the expression of it. 

Let’s keep it really simple. Imagine for a moment you are angry. You might not even know why, but you find yourself pissed off.

Maybe it’s some work you have to get done that you’d rather not do, or your teenager is ‘making everything impossible’. 

You might say to yourself or someone else, “Fuck! I am so angry right now because I always have to do this stupid work I hate!” Your conscious awareness of thoughts might end there, but there is always more assumed under the loud voice. 

If I came along and recommended bringing awareness to it, you might say, “Hey A-hole I’m already totally aware of what a disrespectful, hormonal teenager I have that continues to push me to insanity!” 

But this is not awareness. This is judgement and assumption. Also superpowers mind you, but not like awareness.

It is unquestioning belief of thoughts that are circling around, quietly and loudly, in your consciousness, and it is feeling as if your emotions are inevitable, or a natural result of reality.

The simple formula: my thoughts are true, I am my emotions. You are wholly identified with your feelings, and focused on the problem that caused it. 

It might even seem logical. How else could you, would you, should you feel right? Of course. My thoughts are true, I feel this way because of this problem. End of story. 1+2=3.

Or is it?  

Pause, become aware, be open

Awareness is a practice. It is a way for you to observe yourself from a new vantage point without shame, judgement, criticism or blame. 

Awareness creates a wedge between your thoughts, your feelings, and ‘you’ (and that is a topic for another space, that ‘you’). 

To practice awareness, curiosity and courage are your allies. Are you ready to get curious about you? Do you have the courage to take total responsibility for your emotions and well being? 

Do you have 10 seconds? 

Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes so that the input of your present circumstances are closed out of you mind for a moment. 

Take notice of your body. Without saying you are ‘angry’, notice your posture, your breath, your shoulders, the position of your head. Tune into your muscles of your face, your neck. If you’re an empath, feel into the deeper vibrations of your physical being. 

If you’re interested on how to do that, book a call and we’ll get you started. 

Observe and take note. My face is so strained, my heart beat is racing, I feel like I’m choking on something, my breath is shallow, there is a lot of pressure building up in my scalp, my stomach is in knots and my fists are clenched.

This is one step of awareness, to become aware of the physiology of your anger. Not that you need to get rid of the anger, or change it, but if you did want to pause it, with practice you just change your physiology, and it’s impossible for anger to take grip. 

As you observe more, you start to become the observer. As you identify more and more as the observer, you will naturally find a different sensation growing in you. 

Now it’s time to bring your awareness to the things you are focused on. “I’m focused on my son, his behavior. I feel powerless and frustrated. I feel like a failure as a dad. He doesn’t respect me and really I am weak and stupid. I hate him but I feel so sad that I failed as a parent”

It can get ugly in there. Again, observe, bring your awareness without criticism shame or blame. Really just become aware of your focus, the thoughts you are thinking, and the language you are using in your mind. 

All of this combined is creating meaning, which means creating reality. Painful things happen, but suffering is the result of the meaning we give them.  

Notice how it feels in your body to have those thoughts, to hold that focus, and notice other ideas and words that arise when you believe the thoughts are true. 

If you cant go further, ask yourself this powerful question: Who am I when I believe these thoughts are true? 

You might hear, “I am sad, lonely, and upset. I feel let down by my parents because they really mistreated me, and I never wanted my son to feel that. But maybe I made a mistake. I’m worried. I feel hopeless and powerless. The whole world feels awful.” 

Now you are really starting to get the idea of all the thoughts you are believing, maybe some ideas from the past, some old wounds, that are creating your experience. 

Your body is a gift in the way it expresses vibrationally the thoughts you believe are true with emotional intensity. It gives you consious mind the opportunity to perform an intervention. 

Notice where your focus is obsessing. Is it any wonder you’re experiencing what you are experiencing? 

As you build your awareness muscles, you will find that you assume the truth of a lot of things. I’m not saying you should, or shouldn’t or that those are bad, good, false or true things. 

I’m saying they are wildly creative. If you are feeling really awful as a result, in general that’s a wake up call to change your internal models of the world. It’s time to change your focus onto what would be wonderful, and to recalibrate your mind, emotions and body on what would be good for you. 

Wherever you go there you are. Feel gratitude for the challenge with your teenager, as it’s helping you realize the power to create a better reality is in you. 

When you work with me, you will learn many other tools of awareness that will help you understand your teenager (for example), and yourself and others in ways that will build compassion, forgiveness, and create opportunity for loving change. 

But it starts with awareness right now. So get started, right now! 


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“Awareness is a neurologically advanced state where you are engaging both your conscious and unconscious minds simultaneously”John Asseraf – Founder of Neurogym
Awareness creates opportunities that can’t exist without it. It is more than thinking out of the box, it’s revealing the box isn’t even there in the way you thought it was. Matt Corlett