THE HIDDEN POWER OF FORGIVENESS
Have you ever noticed generally feeling better, lighter, freer when you forgive?
Think of a time now where you forgave someone for something they had done that was harmful or hurtful in some way. Without needing to know what forgiveness is, or what it means, you probably have an innate feeling of what it CAN DO. Isn’t that a wonderful feeling?
Notice how you feel it. What happens when you forgive someone? Does your body relax in the belly or chest? Do you feel tension drain from your forehead and jaw? Just be aware of it.
Forgiveness is experienced and the body, your body, expresses the vibrations of forgiveness in a way unique to you so that you know when you are in the presence of forgiveness. This is one of the magical beauties of the body, it’s gift to us, to our growing in our awareness and our ability to be in flow and present.
So what does it mean to forgive? What is really happening?
Is forgiveness compromising your values?
Have you ever though that you or someone you know just forgives ‘too easily’? Have you thought, “I forgive too easily because I hate conflict”? Or maybe you feel you or someone you notice who is forgiving just keeps getting walked all over.
Forgiveness does not require you to stand down, or ever give up what you believe is good and important. Getting walked all over isn’t the result of forgiveness, it’s universal law in action.
Being walked all over is only possible if one ALREADY holds the belief that they can get walked all over, and maybe even should.
Many of us hold deep, quiet beliefs that we assume are laws of the universe, or are the way REALITY is. Beliefs like: I control other people’s feelings and actions, I can’t make them feel bad because that’s bad, I can’t cause conflict, disagreement is conflict, I have to shape my thoughts and feelings to other’s ideas or else… I am not enough, I won’t be loved, I am not safe, I could die. I must make them happy, and feel good.
In cases like this what is called ‘forgiveness’ is actually a bunch of words the person says, and not real forgiveness.
Can I say I have forgiven someone by not allowing even myself to feel what was true for me in that moment?
Truth does change, but not always by pretending it isn’t there.
FORGIVENESS IS NOT BREAKING BONDS OF KARMA; IT’S Freeing yourself and others
I have good news, or bad maybe? LOL! When you forgive another, it does not remove the effect of their action. Whatever effects of their action are due, will occur forgiven or not. For example, if I drop a mug of coffee, and quickly forgive myself as it falls, the mug shatters and coffee sprays just like it would if I screamed or cursed while it fell. I would still be left to wipe up the coffee and sweep up the pieces.
I heard once that forgiveness, in part, is not to wish the past to be different than it was. I will disagree for a moment because it’s possible whether you wish that or not. In fact wishing it were different can even inspire you to realize what it is you really want for yourself and for that other person, can build compassion, and put your focus on what is of beauty and good in you and them. You can turn pain into wisdom with a wish, if you are curious and wanting to grow and truly liberate yourself from suffering.
People are not their behavior, and when we hang onto a sorrow, a bad deed, a infraction and live it over and over with anger, we constantly picture that person in that state of being as the abuser, or idiot, or failure, or liar. As we hold that in our mind, we often see ourselves as a victim, as innocent, as undeserving and in that brush stroke, the universe is a place that allows the innocent to be abused, and there’s nothing to do about it.
Forgiveness is to take your attention and place it on the image of yourself and the other in your highest form instead of continually repeating the lowest form over and over in your mind. Forgiveness is a thought process of refusing to peg someone to their worst behavior, and instead to hold them in their most wonderful capability.
But to do that without being naive requires that you do it for you. That you own fully your part in the experience, and own fully your power to create better experiences by moving your attention from the thoughts that cause suffering, and placing them on the thoughts that provide liberation and freedom.
I don’t have to excuse an abusive parent’s behavior or forget it to forgive. I can allow the pain of the experience to become wisdom, to inform me, to provide understanding and compassion, allowing me to hold space for better outcomes rather than passing the energetics of the abuse and suffering onwards through my thoughts, feelings and actions.
Forgiving is healing, is the end of the cycles of rebirth of thought through you. It is enlightenment. The end of the cyclical nature of rebirth, for the birth of something wonderful and new. Opportunity. Evolution. Love.