Stress, Mess & Evolution

Getting Through Life’s Messy Moments with Strength and Growth

Life can be filled with unresolved emotions, attachments, and patterns that seem to hold us back. But within these challenges lies an invitation for growth and self-discovery.

Hey look, I totally get it if you just want to GET RID of old thoughts and emotions, and just blank them, numb them, or avoid them. But there’s a better way to transform those experiences into growth, wisdom, and true freedom.

You can only self soothe for so long until things really start to STINK. Awareness, looking lovingly, learning processes to process emotions, self-inquiry are all tools we can use so that we can learn transform roadblocks into stepping stones on the path to liberation.

 

Getting Through Emotional Patterns with Clarity

When we find ourselves stuck on something or someone from the past, the mind can easily replay memories, bringing emotions along for the ride. But we don’t have to stay caught up in those loops. Here’s how to start breaking free:

  • Notice the Pattern: The first step is noticing when these thoughts and feelings come up. This awareness alone is a small win because it allows us to interrupt the usual script.
  • Use Visualization to Let Go: Techniques like shrinking the image of a memory, making it black and white, or “pixelating” it can help. It sounds simple, but you’d be surprised at how effective this can be to take the emotional charge out of a memory.
  • Reconnect to What You Really Want: Often, we think it’s about that specific person or moment, but it’s actually the feeling we want. That’s the real insight—knowing you can recreate those positive feelings within yourself, no external validation needed.

Trusting Yourself to Handle It

One of the biggest things that holds us back is the idea that we’re somehow at the mercy of our own thoughts. But here’s the truth: you’re in the driver’s seat. It’s just a matter of trusting yourself to navigate.

  • Challenge Your Beliefs About Control: Remind yourself that thoughts don’t define you. You have them, but will you REALLY surrender to them, and do so with negative emotional conviction? NO! Rise up and challenge beliefs lovingly knowing that they are really there to protect you in some way. 
  • Empower Your Own Voice: The way you talk to yourself matters. If you’re always saying, “I can’t do this” or “I’ll never get over it,” you’re reinforcing those beliefs. Instead, flip the script. Choose words that affirm your strength and capability.
  • Make Time for Meditation and Reflection: Finding a moment each day to sit with yourself, notice your thoughts, and let them pass helps you build inner calm. You’ll feel more centered and more capable of handling whatever comes up.

Having a hard time achieving this? Book a call and experience it right away. 

Invisible Forces That Move Us

Uncovering Beliefs, Overcoming Disappointment, and Embracing Personal Growth

In the vast landscape of our lives, it is crucial to call upon the powers of mindfulness and self-awareness without judgment. In this space of openness, curiosity, and self-observation, we embark on a profound journey of exploration. Today, we gather to delve into the realm of invisible forces, to understand the intricacies that shape our actions and emotions.

Like wind that moves a tree, there are unseen forces that move us to act, not to act, to react or to sit in silence and observe. Sometimes we find ourselves behaving in harmful ways to ourselves or others, and we have no idea why. 

In those situations there can be unconscious programs that run our behavior. 

When we find ourselves instantly reacting to a situation, and we find ourselves in an emotional state like anger, but at the same time we don’t want to be, then we can see how we are being moved by something unseen. The most common thing to say is that the other person or the situation is causing the anger… but is it really true? Could it also be true that on some level, we are instantly perceiving the meaning of a situation, and also that that perception could be less than the full picture?

Beliefs, paradigms, identity, desire

Beliefs play a vital role in our lives, shaping our identity, behaviors, and perspectives on life. These invisible paradigms weave intricate webs that govern our thoughts and actions. Often, these beliefs are deeply ingrained, whispering what is true, what is possible, and who we are. We look out and see ‘reality’, but more often than not, we look out and see only a projection of beliefs that are often unquestioned. 

“We can’t solve the problem from within the consciousness that created the problem” – Einstein.

To transform, we need to move beyond concepts, beyond mind, beyond identifying ourselves as a ‘self’ that is consistent with the stories we have about who we are and the past.

It is essential to peel back the layers of our consciousness, to uncover the origins of these beliefs. By questioning their validity, we can challenge the limiting beliefs that hinder our growth and create new paradigms that align with our desires and aspirations.

Amidst the cacophony of external expectations and societal pressures, we must strive to reconnect with our authentic desires. Society often imposes limitations and suppresses our innermost longings. But within the whispers of our soul lies a map leading to joy, purpose, and fulfillment. In the stillness of introspection, we allow ourselves to hear those whispers and embrace the beauty of our authentic desires.

"I struggled with clarity for too long. I thought I was clear, but actually I had no idea what real clarity was. Now I have true understanding of what really moves me. Book a session with Matt and you'll find your clarity"
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"A deep seated shame was affecting me, it was affecting my marriage, it was affecting how I treated people... Matt helped me heal the shamefulness, and what lay underneath was TRULY AMAZING... now I'm watching myself become fully alive"
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Overwhelm is not a sign of weakness, but an invitation for growth.

It is a journey that requires courage and a willingness to face discomfort. We must shed the fear of disappointment and the weight of societal judgment. As we unearth our authentic desires, we unlock the transformative power of a purpose-driven life. We discover the extraordinary within the ordinary and embark on a path that aligns our actions with our deepest desires.

Much of the strategies we have put on autopilot to navigate life were from a time where those strategies were the best we came up with. Many of our unconscious behaviors date back to early childhood. The brain is an incredible store house and machine built to serve us. Even what we often perceive as harmful behaviors are there to protect and serve us… if we have the courage to sit and stillness to listen.

The good news is, we have the power to transcend limitations, to liberate ourselves from unconsciousness, and to create a life filled with purpose, fulfillment, and abundant growth.

That the journey of personal transformation is not linear nor without challenges. It is a continuous process of self-reflection, introspection, and conscious choice. By understanding the unseen forces that shape our lives, we empower ourselves to navigate through the complexities of existence with grace and resilience.

If you’re ready, it would be my honor to help. The journey begins with one free call. You will be amazed what can happen in a short period of time. https://bit.ly/3P3VPRG

Rebirth or Born Anew?

Reincarnation of thought as you

So many of us took on at a young age beliefs like, “I can’t disappoint anybody (or I’m dead meat). I can’t be disappointed in people I love or something is wrong with me!” “I have to heal my mom/dad. I have to help them be well! Their suffering is my problem!”
 
I’m not saying it’s rational or even that it was formulated in clear statements like that. Research might argue the opposite, that those worded concepts are representations of emotional, vibrational, energetic, felt experiences. Those form neurological networks that produce specific hormonal concoctions, nervous system responses, even genetic expression… all run by unconscious processes… they can become habit of mind/behavior. Automated.
 
In my experience, habit of mind masquerades as law of the universe. This IS the way it IS. And it is, unless we interrupt the pattern, the habit… or it gets so harsh we are brought to our knees and either numb it out or head in.
 
I often marvel at my automatic responses in some situations. Awareness is a blessing. Pain too if it is required to get my awareness. It really is the wedge that provides necessary distance to transform, to loosen the claim of reality that habits of mind can have over me, and reveal opportunities and alternatives.

The gift of Pain; the gift of awareness; the gift of the conscious mind

Awareness is just the beginning of something beautiful. As I become aware, I notice how often I’m not actually responding to the current situation, but repeating an echo of the past.
 
Reincarnation of thoughts, beliefs, living through me. Again and again, until… their cycle of reincarnation end in me, no longer pathways for their expression to live through ‘me’.
 
And it’s not so conscious. It arises before the conscious mind notices. It’s there.
 
Today a wonderful thing happened with a client that showed me again, that awareness as a practice, bringing presence to reactions that are difficult to sit with, sitting with them regardless of that pain, developing understanding and really listening… sometimes bringing paradoxical tools to the same issue… how this can result in new breakthrough realizations, opportunity for choice, even empowering responses to situations in the PRESENT.
 
Moving from helpless effect to co-creator.
"I struggled with clarity for too long. I thought I was clear, but actually I had no idea what real clarity was. Now I have true understanding of what really moves me. Book a session with Matt and you'll find your clarity"
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"A deep seated shame was affecting me, it was affecting my marriage, it was affecting how I treated people... Matt helped me heal the shamefulness, and what lay underneath was TRULY AMAZING... now I'm watching myself become fully alive"
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Born anew not reborn

“Matt… I am not going to solve this pain I have by solving THEIR problems. That is a pattern that is killing me. I’m always trying to make everyone else OK, trying to anticipate and control everything so I can finally feel safe… like it’s safe to finally be able to just be me, and be seen and supported… but I never feel safe doing that, and nobody really sees me. I usually end up exhausted and resenting myself.”
 
I recognized me in that too. “To be safe… I can’t be authentic… it will ruin all opportunity for attachment… I must please first even if it means damaging myself in the process.”
 

The desire for safety, authenticity and to be loved has sanctity. With the awareness of the unquestioned beliefs of HOW to get it, she understood she has options. And options she chose… creating safety in herself, and allowing the universe to respond to her new demand.

Rebirth? or Born Anew?

And in that moment, the automatic response she had learned long ago, started to lose it’s universal authority. No longer automatic, new alternatives were born from within, tied to the present, and she found an opportunity to build exactly the safety and vulnerability she desired without needing to wait for circumstances to ‘finally’ align and allow it. Without needing to take responsibility for everyone and everything else first.
 
It might seem so obvious to some, but those habits of mind… they can be really subtle. And when I reflect on the profound and beautiful breakthrough she had… well… I feel a wave of love wash over me.
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Quick Cure for Disappointment

Trade disappointment for just a little appreciation... then take another look

I had the wonderful opportunity to feel a deep appreciation for someone in my life today. It was like a wave that washed over me.

It became contagious. I started to find all sorts of little things I appreciate. And as my attention moved more to appreciation I noticed how some irritation I had been holding onto, slowly slipping into a sense of doom, some disappointment I had been carrying about something else, just lifted away.

I realized I had a distorted view and possibilities were far greater than my disappointment.

John Doe
John Doe@michelledenise.holdt
Matt is INCREDIBLE. I worked with him for a few months and his guidance is like no other - pure magic. He led me to my own inner light and wisdom in ways I could not have gotten on my own
Noel Bagwell
Noel Bagwell@nbagwell3
I met Matt in one of the darkest periods of loss, grief, pain and suffering... he helped me build myself better than I was before.
Kishore Khaitan
Kishore Khaitan@kishore.khaitan
Matt is superb when it comes to going deep inside oneself to uncover the underlying fears and beliefs that are holding us bakc.

Disappointment is a process, not a state to occupy. Shifting it is as easy as flowing with the stream of life.

Disappointment when sustained as an attitude closes the mind off to alternatives, to opportunities, to potential. It might lend a short term feeling of superiority, or control… 

Sustained it can lead to arrogance, a very small world view, and false safe harbor far away from the present moment and your precious heart.

Trading just a little for a little appreciation, just feeling into what that feels like, it’s almost impossible not to feel a shift in your being, back toward your centre, compassion, calmness and presence.

The secret is… it can be appreciation about ANYTHING, even unrelated things. So the next time you find yourself disappointed say in your significant other, and your mind is starting to stew over all the things he or she is doing wrong, or isn’t doing right, and how that for sure must mean they don’t TRULY care about you… well, stop for a moment. Know you can always pick up where you left off. 

Look up, stretch your arms, and just appreciate this moment now, where nothing bad is happening. Appreciate how your cloths feel, or how you can witness beautiful things. Appreciate the taste of your favorite food, or how a giggling baby lights your soul up. 

Now, take another look at your partner in that situation. Go back to the same issue. Your perspective has shifted even just a bit, has it not? So appreciate that. And before you know it, you might find a smile on your face, and before long you can turn your disappointment into a statement about what you like, and just share that with her or him, taking responsibility for your emotional destiny. 

And all it took, was to trade a little disappointment for little appreciation. 

 
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To me or FOR me?

To Say 'everything happens for me' is something to feel into.

I am asking you a simple question: do you believe that everything happens TO you or FOR you? 

The call to embrace that ‘things happen FOR me’ seems to be something that many healers, spiritual people, entrepreneurs, manifestation industry pros and mindset masters ask. I’m not asking you to embrace it. I’m asking you to consider it more deeply so you can truly feel it and open to more love. 

Sound good?

Despite these spiritual mindset snippets appearing here and there, they are not mere expressions. They can actually be practices, states of being, and bring new experiences and growth into life. Look, it’s easy to say, ‘Ya, totally I gotta BELIEVE that things happen for me I totally do! All good things are coming.’ Do you know what I mean?

Often I find we like the idea if we believe that saying it will bring PLEASURABLE things, things we think we want or need to BE happy. For an improved future state. 

Oh my loves, that is the path to pain, disappointment and doubt in all that is good.  

Things happen 'for' me! (as long as they are good things)

So what happens when I really embody the belief? Allow myself to open up to it. 

Join me for a moment. Feel it. Go beyond the mind, and feel it in your body, feel it radiating from all around you into you, feel it radiating from you all around you. All things that I experience are for my greater good, for the best, for me.

When I allow myself to open to it fully and feel it i feel a deep relaxation, like I can ‘let go’ of always trying to control things or worry….

If I follow further the feeling and embody it like I fully believe, I enter a state of complete loving and realize there is nothing to feel but gratitude.

If I am out of gratitude, hating what IS, thinking my circumstances are opposed to my desires, to my dreams, to my potential, that people, places and things are always IN MY WAY then do I really believe that ALL things happen for me? What if I think even ONE person, event or circumstance is opposed to what is good for me?

To believe that all things happen FOR you is to LOVE WHAT IS. And that is a practice, not an expression. It is something worth consideration, embracing, trying on, and sinking in.

Am I in a state of perpetual loving gratitude? If not I can realize I’m believing something more along the lines that happens DON’T happen FOR ME, they are in opposition, a distraction or worse. 

If you find this, here’s a hack: REJOICE!

That’s right. Rejoice the pain and suffering of it. “For this I am truly grateful so I can become aware of beliefs I have about circumstances and events that perpetuate suffering and pain.”

If you’re looking to work more in alignment with the universe, to work more in alignment with what is good and great about you and life, to open to greater love and possibility, more flow, improved sense of self, book a no-obligation free strategy call and let’s get you opening to wonder of your own being: https://bit.ly/3P3VPRG

Awareness Short Video

awareness is the foundation of all awakening and transformation

Awareness is simple. It is also foundational to meaningful healing. This is an easy to follow introduction to practicing awareness. You may be surprised how effortless it is just to bring your awareness to thought. Again, this is a simple introduction that will take under 10 minutes.

No need to judge, shame, blame or even try to get rid of thought

Normally we are assenting to our thoughts, beliefs and concepts without knowing what they are, or how they are effecting us physically, mentally, emotionally and even karmically. Awareness helps us become calm, offers more clarity, allows us to perceive and learn, to build understanding and eventually choice.

Sometimes it’s by becoming aware of our body, our emotions, our focus, our breath that the causal thoughts then avail themselves to us. Other times, we are able to become of aware of our thoughts, then become aware of how those thoughts are impacting our lives when we believe or act as if, they are true. Either way is of benefit.

The unedited, uncut, rawness of this video is INTENTIONAL. It is meant to break form from high production. The rawness of it can evoke just as a well produced video can evoke. It is the candid nature of this video that offers you a launching pad for the practice of awareness.

This is not about self help, changing your mind, silencing your thought, or to get you to aspire to a lifestyle. This is about awareness, for it is awareness that acts as a foundation for transformation. It just may be true that we never respond to the way things are, but to our concepts of the way things are, and that we may only ever have concepts of the way things are. Awareness is the foundation of all awakening, and it is simple to begin now.

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