Stress, Mess & Evolution

Getting Through Life’s Messy Moments with Strength and Growth

Life can be filled with unresolved emotions, attachments, and patterns that seem to hold us back. But within these challenges lies an invitation for growth and self-discovery.

Hey look, I totally get it if you just want to GET RID of old thoughts and emotions, and just blank them, numb them, or avoid them. But there’s a better way to transform those experiences into growth, wisdom, and true freedom.

You can only self soothe for so long until things really start to STINK. Awareness, looking lovingly, learning processes to process emotions, self-inquiry are all tools we can use so that we can learn transform roadblocks into stepping stones on the path to liberation.

 

Getting Through Emotional Patterns with Clarity

When we find ourselves stuck on something or someone from the past, the mind can easily replay memories, bringing emotions along for the ride. But we don’t have to stay caught up in those loops. Here’s how to start breaking free:

  • Notice the Pattern: The first step is noticing when these thoughts and feelings come up. This awareness alone is a small win because it allows us to interrupt the usual script.
  • Use Visualization to Let Go: Techniques like shrinking the image of a memory, making it black and white, or “pixelating” it can help. It sounds simple, but you’d be surprised at how effective this can be to take the emotional charge out of a memory.
  • Reconnect to What You Really Want: Often, we think it’s about that specific person or moment, but it’s actually the feeling we want. That’s the real insight—knowing you can recreate those positive feelings within yourself, no external validation needed.

Trusting Yourself to Handle It

One of the biggest things that holds us back is the idea that we’re somehow at the mercy of our own thoughts. But here’s the truth: you’re in the driver’s seat. It’s just a matter of trusting yourself to navigate.

  • Challenge Your Beliefs About Control: Remind yourself that thoughts don’t define you. You have them, but will you REALLY surrender to them, and do so with negative emotional conviction? NO! Rise up and challenge beliefs lovingly knowing that they are really there to protect you in some way. 
  • Empower Your Own Voice: The way you talk to yourself matters. If you’re always saying, “I can’t do this” or “I’ll never get over it,” you’re reinforcing those beliefs. Instead, flip the script. Choose words that affirm your strength and capability.
  • Make Time for Meditation and Reflection: Finding a moment each day to sit with yourself, notice your thoughts, and let them pass helps you build inner calm. You’ll feel more centered and more capable of handling whatever comes up.

Having a hard time achieving this? Book a call and experience it right away. 

From Futile to Empowered

From Overwhelm to Hope: Embracing Free Will and the Power of Emotional Release

When life feels like an unrelenting storm, it’s easy to feel trapped, thinking that freedom will only come if our circumstances change. Yet, real transformation doesn’t require altering the world around us; it calls for a shift within. True freedom comes from using our free will to change our internal state, even when everything around us seems difficult.

 
In a recent session, I witnessed the power of this shift firsthand. I worked with someone overwhelmed by stress, self-doubt, and a sense of helplessness, rooted in unresolved emotions. Together, we explored a way forward, not by avoiding these feelings, but by addressing and releasing them — and one particular exercise showed just how powerful this can be.

Processing Emotions Through Expression

Anger is an emotion that when unexpressed, can feel unheard, unseen and neglected. This in turn can AMPLIFY it as the message of anger is sometimes: An IMPORTANT value has been transgressed, a VOICE of HURT has been trampled on!

So I asked that part of her, in session, to write a letter. This wasn’t just any letter; it was an uncensored, raw expression of all the anger, resentment, and frustration she had been holding in. It was hard for her to allow herself to do it. So much shame around the anger came up, and that’s why working with a coach can be so helpful.

On the page, she poured out everything — the hidden pains and unmet expectations, even the sense of injustice and betrayal. It was really vital that she had the total freedom to be super petty if she needed to be. I’ve done this EXACT exercise multiple times. The letter is NEVER SENT to the person, because… it’s not about them.

She wrote everything she felt she couldn’t say, and in doing so, she created a space to let go of some of the heaviness.

What happened next was transformative. As she put down the anger, other feelings started to surface: care, compassion, and even forgiveness. It was as if releasing the negativity made room for her deeper, truer emotions. Beneath the anger lay a well of love and understanding she hadn’t expected to find, and with it came a sense of peace and hope.

The Truth About Free Will

Free will isn’t just about making big choices; it’s the ability to choose our inner responses. We may not control everything that happens to us, but we can choose how we want to experience it, who we are as we LIVE through it and how we live through it. 

Moving from despair to hope begins with recognizing that we are not passive players in our own lives. And OWNING that. We can acknowledge and process our feelings, and in doing so, create a path to a more peaceful state of being.

Here’s what the journey toward hope looks like:

  1. Pause and Acknowledge – Begin by noticing the feelings you’re experiencing, whether they are anger, sadness, or anxiety. Honor them without judgment.
  2. Express Without Holding Back – Find a way to release what you’re holding. Write a letter, journal, speak aloud, or do anything that lets you express yourself fully.
  3. Notice What Lies Beneath – When you let go of the anger or resentment, see what remains. Often, it’s a softer emotion — a love or understanding that brings peace.
  4. Choose a New Way Forward – With a clearer mind, you can decide how you want to move forward. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, you might choose to focus on what’s possible.

In the end, transformation isn’t about waiting for circumstances to change. It’s about taking small, deliberate steps to process our emotions and make new choices. When we do this, we start to see that peace isn’t a distant goal; it’s a state we can cultivate within ourselves, no matter what.

Having a hard time achieving this? Book a call and experience it right away.