Stop Over-Giving. Receive More!

We don't get what we wish for; we get what we are conscious of being

You might have heard a variation of the expression: You receive in proportion to what you GIVE. It even appears in some Laws of Manifestation books as the Law of Compensation for example.

But… Are you an ‘Over-Giver’? Someone who is always giving, giving, giving but feeling like… you just DO NOT receive in commensurate value? Want to end that? 

I was recently in a mastermind discussing the power of giving, which morphed into a heated talk about ‘receiving’ and how to ‘get’. It’s interesting to be in a room about giving, and then ‘giving’ becomes a means that is tested by what it ‘gets’ you.

The mood had shifted, and some were feeling sad, angry and anxious about the receiving side of giving. It was as if giving was being QUESTIONED as a means of receiving (which it is).

The speakers who were in a place of doubt about giving due to experiences of NOT RECEIVING were missing something.

They were missing what they were REALLY GIVING. What do I mean by that? 

it's not the word, not the deed, but the spirit behind it. that is what you get.

Someone kicked it off with a vulnerable share – “but in my past I used to give and give and give and I was left empty, and I was taken advantage of”.

I think most of us can relate to that feeling. I know I can. It tugged my heart. And in that tug, a self image flashed before me.

Sometimes you see this at the end of a relationship “I gave you EVERYTHING, but it was never enough!!!” or something worse like, “You just used me and abandoned me like I was nothing!”

Over giving is different than giving in that the over-giver is not usually in a self-loving state of consciousness.  Generally the opposite is true.

The over-giver that feels empty and neglected when they don’t receive, did not ‘finish’ that way, they started that way. As within, so without. Hard pill to swallow, but good medicine. 

Generally in over-giving, we started with a self-image of: “I’m unloved and not good enough. I’m not worthy of being loved or even liked. The only thing I can do is compensate for lacking by giving everything in hopes that someone will finally show me love, or at least acceptance.”

And no matter how much we give from a state of being like that, we only receive more of the same: being unloved, unworthy, and not good enough.

What seems like imbalanced returns is in reality perfect returns. For it’s not what we give that we are giving, it’s the state of consciousness from which we give that we are giving.

We attract what we are conscious of being: unworthy, unloved, not enough. So no matter how much we give, “it’s never enough”.

Working with Matt has helped me become VERY aware of what really moves me, motivates me, and what I really care about. It's ended years of bad habits in a short time.
Prefer to be Anonymous
I thought I had clarity, but I didn't know what real clarity was. Now I do. I usually rush out to buy another program after I finish one. After working with Matt, I have a whole new level of criteria, and no desire to rush out for 'more'.
Nathan Hansen

You are always giving, always contributing. You are contributing your state of being.

The gift we give is our state of being and we are ALWAYS giving. The ‘universe’ always provides balanced returns.

The beauty of it is, the pain that might bring in our experience is in itself a wonderful thing to receive.

It’s an opportunity to question fundamental beliefs we are holding about ourselves. To change the habits of mind that create that pain. To connect with a greater sense of our own being, value, joy, worthiness. And to TRANSFORM NOW! 

And when we give from a state of being of care, love, concern, support in a state of feeling wonderful about our ability to give, our worthiness to be here now as abundant creators of life, we give that state of consciousness and the universe reflects it back to us.

When we give, we receive the awareness of our state of being in our giving. And that is always a gift for us to receive.

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Faith, Fear, Purpose

"Faith is definiteness of purpose, backed by belief in the attainment of that purpose." - Napoleon Hill

Ever find yourself feeling like circumstances are dictating all your possibilities?

Real life. So much going on yes? Markets are swinging, real estate possibly crashing, fears and worries being pumped out left right and centre… not to mention, dishes to do, deadlines to meet, kids to manage, relationships to dote on, people with needs you feel required to fulfill… 

You get the idea. 

More often than not, it can be easy to find yourself trying to MANAGE CIRCUMSTANCES. That somehow you’ve got to try to CONTROL all these circumstances that may or may not have happened, may or may not be happening or happen, and the more you think about it ALL the crazier, more energy sucking and more impossible it all seems?

Ever notice what happens to your sense of well being, of direction, your goals or projects, and your focus when worry and fear sets in? I don’t… because they’re gone! 🙃 My focus seems dominated by ‘things’ not directed by ‘me’…

But the hard truth is, it’s always ultimately determined by you, whether you consciously realize it or not. The hard edge of that truth can provide empowerment for liberation and growth.

 
 

worry just proves you have options, if you want to know, just ask worry what it's really doing for you!

This morning I was masterminding with @ashley__bright. Masterminding is a great thing to do as it combines the conscious and subconscious power of your minds toward an objective or goal. We were  exploring the relationships between circumstances, purpose and desire, planning, action, distraction and drifting. Our intention was how to improve our focus, and prevent drifting from taking over. 

But the truth is___________________… The truth is sometimes drifting, blaming circumstances, getting pissed off about how unfair things are… sometimes that state is attractive. Even if it’s just a habit of thinking and behaving when confronted with a challenge. There is a powerful allure at times to problems. Often there are needs being met by having problems, especially very specific repeating problems.

The good news is, problems are always created by the exact state of consciousness that needs to shift in order for you to experience the breakthrough you wish to experience. 

Let me be more clear. Your worries and your problems, all the circumstances that you think are objectively true and real, they are all present in your life only ever through your consciousness. If that’s a complex idea, or a frustrating one, I hear you… reread it, and just allow it to sit in your mind and heart for a bit. 

In this way problems and our perception of them, when looked at in a forgiving and merciful way, can illuminate beliefs and assumptions we may have been unaware of, and yet were the exact beliefs and assumptions compelling us to feel and act so strongly.

It’s amazing how circumstances can look entirely different with out anything changing but a recalibration of focus, a shift in consciousness.

One shift in consciousness is called FAITH. Faith isn’t necessarily believing that some external omniscient being is going to favorably look down upon you from the heavens and give you what you WISH for.

Usually in a state of wishing, you are believing yourself to be a total wretch, living in a deplorable or at least kinda crappy state. I have a post coming soon on Maxwell Maltz’s Psycho Cybernetics which is a MUST read on the tie to internal self image. 

You only EVER get what you are conscious of being. Wishing doesn’t give you what you wish for, it gives you the state of being you occupy while wishing. We are always creating, always manifesting, always attracting, but always from our state of being. 

No, by faith I do not mean blind faith or wishful thinking, but focussed attention on your definite purpose NO MATTER WHAT the circumstances. When you are able to increase the frequency and intensity of your focus on your purpose, on your goal, on your project, your desire… and you are able to refocus on the positive, on what is of good report… that is faith.

It is faith that everything incurred right now is nudging you to the expansion you are calling for, that even if you can’t see the future events and exactly HOW or WHAT needs to happen in what order, that’s not actually your conscious mind’s job.

The job of your conscious mind is to focus on your goal, your dream, and to sense it and feel it. Your conscious mind’s job is to be judge and executioner of all thoughts that are out of alignment with your true purpose. 

And if those thoughts and feelings don’t leave, then soften your hardness. Stop resisting them. Sit with them. Observe them. Know that they too are here to help you on your way to better self understanding, more loving compassionate understanding. 

That can be the role of your conscious mind too. Hey, brilliant amazing conscious mind, help me understand the beauty, the richness, the love, the higher intent of my habits of thought, of my beliefs and attitudes. Help me see them clearly. Help me listen. 

And if you’re worried you can’t find your ‘real’ purpose, don’t make it so hard. You have desires, you have fears. Both equally are illuminating the path for your self discovery. 

So rejoice good friend! Bring your awareness to your condition, and know liberation and transformation are here now, just as you are, with all the circumstances and conditions you bring with you now!  

 
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Truth is Loving Action

Today be aware of truth & love all of it!

“It is from Truth that all Loving action will arise”

Sometimes it feels like a cold crushing force truth. Like it could cause harm, do bad, injure, cause all kinds of hell. Be honest for a sec… is there anything that you are hiding, even from yourself, because there is part of you that DREADS to look at it? What if that dread was the only problem, and actually the truth was the solution to all your problems? 

With pressure, the metal is hardened; Truth can strengthen determination and will.

This morning in meditation I was asking for assistance from my guides. They responded:

“It’s hard to help you when you are ignoring the truth and denying where you are at now. Fighting the truth is exhausting when you have no acceptance and are trying to cover it over with wishful thinking or denial.

We understand the idea of ‘living from the end’ of your goals, but you’ve entered into a different consciousness.

The truth is you lack faith and are gambling. And that shows in all sorts of your truth, including the beautiful truth of what you have to offer humanity.”

Have you ever had someone tell you something, and even though it didn’t sound pretty, you knew you were in the presence of truth, and with that came a physiological relaxing, and softening of anger, frustration, and animosity? This was one of those moments. 

Around my challenge they had me write out 

“The truth is ______________________________________” and then finish each sentence with all the secret and not-so-secret truths I was holding around my challenge. I did that again and again until ‘it’ was all out.

I looked back and could see values, beliefs, norms, ideas, assumptions, fears, lies, not lies and not truths…

Truth can seem hard, very stark, even bland or blunt. It can be sharp, but I don’t find that it cuts to injure; it cuts to lighten, to enlighten. It’s liberating when brought to light with clarity – something that happens when you allow yourself to be aware without judgement, shame or blame. 

I realized looking at it, feeling a new liberty in my heart… truth is loving. The most loving. 

It wasn’t crushing. I didn’t even feel sad. What I had thought was shame and frustration now had zero charge level. ZERO. Do you know how much energy and capacity is liberated when fear of being seen for what you ARE NOT is released? It’s cosmic. 

I was now in a far superior state for accepting guidance, problem solving and action taking. It liberated mental emotional and physical energy from resistance and gave it to creation.

Truth was only ever a threat to an idea of self that had no substance for it was based on covering truth not loving it. Resisting meant missing all the beauty in it as well. With every set back there is the seed of equal opportunity.

Truth is your liberator. So now welcome to your COLD HARD truth which is your life, which is your LOVE. Walk into it clearly, and walk with it. It is from truth that all loving action will arise. Today be aware of truth and love all of it.”

It feels soooo good. Come find yours! 

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What Can Awareness Do?

can you let go, forgive, and find beauty?

  • Matthew Corlett
  • Jan 22, 2022

I would like to take a moment to share with you the power of awareness. It is a super power, and lucky for you, you’ve got it! You are using it ALL the time and in fact, ‘you’ might even be the expression of it. 

Let’s keep it really simple. Imagine for a moment you are angry. You might not even know why, but you find yourself pissed off.

Maybe it’s some work you have to get done that you’d rather not do, or your teenager is ‘making everything impossible’. 

You might say to yourself or someone else, “Fuck! I am so angry right now because I always have to do this stupid work I hate!” Your conscious awareness of thoughts might end there, but there is always more assumed under the loud voice. 

If I came along and recommended bringing awareness to it, you might say, “Hey A-hole I’m already totally aware of what a disrespectful, hormonal teenager I have that continues to push me to insanity!” 

But this is not awareness. This is judgement and assumption. Also superpowers mind you, but not like awareness.

It is unquestioning belief of thoughts that are circling around, quietly and loudly, in your consciousness, and it is feeling as if your emotions are inevitable, or a natural result of reality.

The simple formula: my thoughts are true, I am my emotions. You are wholly identified with your feelings, and focused on the problem that caused it. 

It might even seem logical. How else could you, would you, should you feel right? Of course. My thoughts are true, I feel this way because of this problem. End of story. 1+2=3.

Or is it?  

Pause, become aware, be open

Awareness is a practice. It is a way for you to observe yourself from a new vantage point without shame, judgement, criticism or blame. 

Awareness creates a wedge between your thoughts, your feelings, and ‘you’ (and that is a topic for another space, that ‘you’). 

To practice awareness, curiosity and courage are your allies. Are you ready to get curious about you? Do you have the courage to take total responsibility for your emotions and well being? 

Do you have 10 seconds? 

Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes so that the input of your present circumstances are closed out of you mind for a moment. 

Take notice of your body. Without saying you are ‘angry’, notice your posture, your breath, your shoulders, the position of your head. Tune into your muscles of your face, your neck. If you’re an empath, feel into the deeper vibrations of your physical being. 

If you’re interested on how to do that, book a call and we’ll get you started. 

Observe and take note. My face is so strained, my heart beat is racing, I feel like I’m choking on something, my breath is shallow, there is a lot of pressure building up in my scalp, my stomach is in knots and my fists are clenched.

This is one step of awareness, to become aware of the physiology of your anger. Not that you need to get rid of the anger, or change it, but if you did want to pause it, with practice you just change your physiology, and it’s impossible for anger to take grip. 

As you observe more, you start to become the observer. As you identify more and more as the observer, you will naturally find a different sensation growing in you. 

Now it’s time to bring your awareness to the things you are focused on. “I’m focused on my son, his behavior. I feel powerless and frustrated. I feel like a failure as a dad. He doesn’t respect me and really I am weak and stupid. I hate him but I feel so sad that I failed as a parent”

It can get ugly in there. Again, observe, bring your awareness without criticism shame or blame. Really just become aware of your focus, the thoughts you are thinking, and the language you are using in your mind. 

All of this combined is creating meaning, which means creating reality. Painful things happen, but suffering is the result of the meaning we give them.  

Notice how it feels in your body to have those thoughts, to hold that focus, and notice other ideas and words that arise when you believe the thoughts are true. 

If you cant go further, ask yourself this powerful question: Who am I when I believe these thoughts are true? 

You might hear, “I am sad, lonely, and upset. I feel let down by my parents because they really mistreated me, and I never wanted my son to feel that. But maybe I made a mistake. I’m worried. I feel hopeless and powerless. The whole world feels awful.” 

Now you are really starting to get the idea of all the thoughts you are believing, maybe some ideas from the past, some old wounds, that are creating your experience. 

Your body is a gift in the way it expresses vibrationally the thoughts you believe are true with emotional intensity. It gives you consious mind the opportunity to perform an intervention. 

Notice where your focus is obsessing. Is it any wonder you’re experiencing what you are experiencing? 

As you build your awareness muscles, you will find that you assume the truth of a lot of things. I’m not saying you should, or shouldn’t or that those are bad, good, false or true things. 

I’m saying they are wildly creative. If you are feeling really awful as a result, in general that’s a wake up call to change your internal models of the world. It’s time to change your focus onto what would be wonderful, and to recalibrate your mind, emotions and body on what would be good for you. 

Wherever you go there you are. Feel gratitude for the challenge with your teenager, as it’s helping you realize the power to create a better reality is in you. 

When you work with me, you will learn many other tools of awareness that will help you understand your teenager (for example), and yourself and others in ways that will build compassion, forgiveness, and create opportunity for loving change. 

But it starts with awareness right now. So get started, right now! 


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“Awareness is a neurologically advanced state where you are engaging both your conscious and unconscious minds simultaneously”John Asseraf – Founder of Neurogym
Awareness creates opportunities that can’t exist without it. It is more than thinking out of the box, it’s revealing the box isn’t even there in the way you thought it was. Matt Corlett